I've been attempting a lot of things lately. Big things. Challenging things.
This past spring, I volunteered for a nonprofit in Playas del Coco, Costa Rica and wrote one of the best grant applications of my life. I felt certain it would be funded-- I created the Playas del Coco Community Partnership and met with several of the Country's top officials, who all supported the application-- and it yet it wasn't funded.
This summer, I studied for months to prepare for the Foreign Service Officer Test (FSOT). After the test, I was nervous, but I hoped I did well enough to move to the next step; unfortunately, I didn't score high enough on the essay portion. (I did, however, kick ass on the job knowledge section).
So, this fall, when I submitted my application for Team Rev3, I pretty much dubbed myself a masochist. Frankly, my chances of getting the grant approved and moving on to the next step for the FSO were better than the less than 5% chance of being selected for this team. I was especially sure I wouldn't be selected after learning they received over 500 applications for 20 spots. With all of those applications, how in the world could I expect that a newbie like me would be selected? It didn't matter, though, I was proud of myself for TRI'ing.
This is who I am now. I will risk disappointment to pursue difficult things. For too long in my life I was afraid to fail and therefore failed to TRI anything that posed a challenge. And, in spite of the odds, I actually did it! I MADE THE TEAM! I am overjoyed at the opportunity and- I must admit- nervous about not measuring up. Not measuring up are "Old Holly" fears; Old Holly would have talked about applying for the team, but never actually submitted an application. New Holly acknowledges the fears and accepts the responsibility to TRI her best! And now I have a whole team of people who will hold me accountable to always TRI my best.